Everybody here *in Southern Louisiana* is scared witless over Gustav.Everybody here that stayed during Rita which also includes us *which is the hurricane that affected my area* I think has a touch of post traumatic stress,so everybody is really upset and freaked out over Gustav.
The worst part is we all kind of feel like the news is terrorizing us a bit.I can totally understand they have to scare everyone a bit because of allot of people not leaving during Katrina and also Rita.
It’s only a category 1 storm right now.But the officials and the news ect don’t really know what is going on with it yet.It’s not even near us all yet,but they keep telling us we WILL have to evacuate soon,then they turn around and say well IF it’s bad you will have to but we don’t know what is going on.
It’s making people prepare which again is good,but they are making people go a bit beyond preparing and everybody is panicking.
Pretty much all the gas stations where I live were out of gas by nightfall,there was also no water at Wal-Mart and I’m sure there were out of allot of other hurricane supplies.
We booked a hotel in Northern Louisiana for Sunday Aug 31st until whenever.Because again we have no idea if we will have to evacuate or not.Not to mention the fact if we do we will have to bring a gaggle of cats,a old pug and 2 spiders.
And if everybody evacuates and the storm passes over without much incident,people are worried about if FEMA will reimburse you.Nobody here can afford a weeks stay in a hotel that is say 100.00 a night or more because they THINK there might be a storm but aren’t sure.
I don’t think people who don’t live in areas where there is a tendency towards natural disasters realize the other implications to worrying about things like hurricanes.There is the aspect of worrying about if you will have a home to come back to,and the total twisting experience of thinking about if you have everything you will need again in case you don’t have a home to come back to.
There is something deeply disturbing about trying to sort through what family photos mean the most to you that you will bring,what religious items you can pack and bring with you,what small things you can bring to help comfort your pets because they are frightened in a strange place.
The whole situation of not knowing is really really really stressful.
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Fuck being pretty,fuck being popular,fuck being the flavor of the month,fuck making people comfortable,fuck fitting in,nobody remembers that stuff when you die.Art is a way of saying “I was here”.
Don’t get my wrong my art is totally for myself.
But there is something comforting in the fact that if I went and locked myself in a cave somewhere and just made art for the rest of my life,that eventually somebody would happen upon it long after I’m gone and what I had to say would live on.
I think like most artist I have trouble expressing myself verbally in a way,at least one on one with people.I have trouble verbalizing my feelings in a direct way,I’m sad,I’m angry,I’m upset.At least it feels that way or when you say things directly like that it feels “flat”.
It’s so much more easy to show to someone the point you are trying to get across,in some ways it feel more pure that way.Like I’m channeling it not saying to small words to get it across.
Being a artist is akin to being a evangelist or a priest,and like most religious figures we live on the kindness of strangers to support what we do.Buying someone’s art is in effect making a donation to help them spread their gospel.Usually the gospels are referred to as the “good news” and preachers say they are “spreading the good news” anybody who has read the bible knows it’s got some nice Sunday school sort of points and also some dark really frightening points.
Artist for centuries have also been viewed as magical people akin to priest and shaman.We are alchemist that can create our own reality and that scares the shit out of people,even so called modern man.
When I cease to exist hopefully my tiny humble contribution to the arts will live on and continue to encourage people to fight on,to ask,seek and knock.
Never ever let anybody make you feel lower then them if you have a message,that alone shows you ARE SOMEBODY.
How wants to be remembered as “the pretty girl” or the most sexy,the most popular or the person that made other people feel numb and safe.I know I sure as hell don’t want to be remembered that way.
Vain memories are fleeting,art and a true message is eternal.
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